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December 23rd
Well, as we all know it is only a couple days away from Christmas. Most people are in a good mood and excited to watch their kids open gifts and see what all kinds of cool stuff that they themselves got for Christmas. Now, don’t get me wrong I am damn excited to watch my little princess open her gifts. I know what she got and I am definitely looking forward to the pop. I am also looking forward to my gifts for some odd reason. Considering that I hand pick my gifts the only reason that I have for being excited is because I am tired of waiting to get them. LOL
Unfortunately, though as I type this I’m not exactly filled with Christmas cheer. In fact, I am in all honesty pissed the fuck off. I have been trying to patiently wait all day for a package to be delivered. The estimated time of arrival was 4:30pm it is now 8:00pm and the son of a bitch still isn’t here. If the package was for me, I wouldn’t be too concerned; however, the package is for Jezabel and it is a gift that she herself hand picked. One of the main reasons I’m so pissed about it is that I paid for next day air, that shit isn’t cheap. Oh, and no I didn’t wait until the last minute, it took me this long to find a place that had the earrings she wanted.
Seriously though, last time I checked, next fucking day means next day. According to FedEx and its tracking info, the package left State College, PA at 12:49pm to be delivered. On a normal day that would only be about a 2 hour drive. This is just fucking ridiculous. I know that it is Christmas and that they are busy, but Jesus Fucking Christ if you say you will be somewhere around 4:30pm, fucking be there. I’m not a patient person so I’m sitting here waiting which is driving me fucking nuts!!!! Well, you know how my day has been, how has yours been? LOL
If you waited until the last minute to get your shopping done, I have a great gift idea. There is one gift in this world that can never be lost, will last forever, and can be used to symbolize whatever you would like it to symbolize for the rest of a persons life. That one gift is a tattoo. In my opinion, if you know someone that likes tattoos, taking them to Ashen 18 on the corner of 8th and Avery in Parkersburg, WV is the best gift you can get them. Tattoos are the only gift that will last a life time and never be lost. I mean sure, diamonds are forever, but they can be lost, pawned, and stolen. A tattoo however is forever. I give you my solemn word that you will never find a better group of guys than Randall and his crew at Ashen 18. They are all great artists with great personalities. There is no one better. So, head on over to Ashen 18 and give the gift that lasts forever. Oh yeah, and tell them I sent you.
Regardless though of what you get your friends and loved ones for Christmas and regardless of what they get for you, remember the amount of money spent isn’t what’s important. What is important is being around great friends and a loving family. I learned a very long time ago to never take the people you love for granted. If you do, you may just wake up one day and find them gone. I speak from experience on this subject, you don’t ever want to wake up and find out the person that you love is gone because you took them for granted.
The holidays aren’t a competition to see how much you can spend, they are for showing caring, compassion, forgiveness and most importantly love. Yes, those are feelings that we should express every single day of our lives, but around the holidays, we should all go above and beyond for those that we love.
I know that I am bouncing all over the place this time and there is no real flow to this installment of The Truth so bear with me, its 8:21pm and my fucking package still isn’t here. So needless to say, my mind is wandering all over the place. LOL
I had mentioned earlier about going to Ashen 18 tattoos to get the gift that lasts forever and that made me think about my own tattoos and experiences. One of the reasons I like Ashen 18 and Randall so much is because Randall is far more than just a tattoo artist. Randall will sit and listen to what you have to say and in my opinion when he listens and offers his thoughts and advice, he is just as good if not better than any therapist out there.
It is because of Randall that I realized today that the one and only thing in my life that I had regretted is something that I didn’t truly regret. I am and always will be extremely remorseful, but I don’t regret it because of what happened made me who I am and I am not in any way shape or form ashamed of who I am. In fact I am damn proud of who I am. Thank you Randall for listening and making me realize that even though I am very remorseful, I don’t regret my past.
I would love to tell you what Randall and I discussed that I am remorseful for; however, that is something that I am still not ready to tell the world. I will however let you know that what I am speaking of ties into what I said earlier about waking up and finding the person that you love and took for granted gone from your life forever.
Something else I would like to rant about again. LOL is the fact that tattoos are permanent. For the love of all that is holy please put a little thought into your ink and go to a shop that has an actual artist and not some fly by night jackasses that think they know how to give a tattoo. I currently have 8 tattoos and each and everyone of them has a reason and a story behind them. Don’t just look at a piece of paper and say I want this one. That in my opinion is just fucking stupid.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t look at pictures to get ideas, but at least put some thought into them before you get a tattoo. Randall is going to re-do and add more to all of the tattoos I have, except for the ones that he did originally, which is ok, he is fixing and improving the craftsmanship, but the stories and meanings will always be the same.
Anyway, back to looking at pictures for ideas. Looking is great idea. The new tattoo that I am designing will have more meaning to me than most people will ever understand. I, however, had to look at pictures to come up with a base and my ideas for how I wanted to personalize it came next, they are not even set in stone yet. I gave my ideas to Randall and told him the meaning and reason behind the tattoo and he is going to help me perfect the tattoo. Either way, my main point is to make sure you have a reason behind that tattoo. If you don’t you may regret it. What you think looks hot now you may hate in 20 years, but if you have a meaning and it is symbolic you will never regret the decision.
Oh well, it is 8:55 and still no fucking FedEx. I think that I may just give up for the night and call and bitch tomorrow. I really don’t have many options at this point. LOL
You know what, I said I wasn’t going to talk about what I am remorseful of but I changed my mind. I am going to talk about it a little because it has been on my mind a lot as it is every Christmas. Almost a decade ago I was in a relationship with a very wonderful and beautiful young lady. This young ladies name is Jamie. I think about Jamie a lot, not just at Christmas time either, she is never far from my thoughts. I do think about her more around the holidays though.
There have been many people in my life that have helped me along the way in the career that I have chosen. I am eternally grateful for each and every one of those people and I will owe them all something when I make it to the top of this business, but Jamie was the one that started it all. She was the first. Jamie was the one that got it all started. She was the one that made me talk to Jake all those years ago, she was the one that stood by my side in Texas, she was the one that gave me the love and support to follow my dreams in the beginning. There have been a lot of people that have helped me, but she is the one that I will always owe the most to because she was the first.
Anyway, back to my point of why I think of Jamie the most at Christmas time. Jamie and I celebrated Christmas together twice in our relationship. It is the first Christmas that I remember the most. We were in our home in a small town called Timblin in PA. Jamie had picked out the perfect tree and together we decorated the tree. To this day, that tree has been the most beautiful tree that I have ever seen.
On Christmas day, I don’t know how to describe it, to get the feelings across that I felt that day. It was basically just like you see in the movies. Two people madly in love, too busy holding each other to actually open gifts and when we did start to open gifts there were tears in my eyes. Jamie made sure that I had gotten everything that I had wanted, as she always did. The day was just absolutely perfect. I don’t really know where I am going with this and I can’t think straight right now so I am done talking about Jamie for now, maybe one day I will set back and type out the entire story from start to finish, but I just can’t do it right now. Just believe me when I tell you that you never want to wake up and find the person that you love is gone. It has been almost a decade and I still have unresolved issues for many reasons. Don’t ever put yourself in that position.
Until next time have a very Merry Christmas,
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